Mentally & Emotionally Capable People Usually Struggle With 7 Things They Don't Often Say Out Loud
ESB Professional | ShutterstockMentally and emotionally competent people are really good at hiding their struggles, mostly because they don't ever admit to them.
To maintain their capable reputation, they stay tight-lipped about their shortcomings. That can get pretty lonely, though. Because despite outward appearances, we're all just flawed humans doing our best to get by. There's something endearing about that. So next time your buddy who outwardly seems to have mastered life gets a little evasive when you ask him something personal, that might be a sign he's actually a little more frazzled than you originally thought.
7 things capable people struggle with that they don’t usually talk about:
1. Comparing their lives to other people
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock.com
Comparison can be motivating, but most of the time, especially if we're feeling insecure or struggle with self-esteem issues, it only leads to shame and stress,
Even capable people who seem confident can feel like they’re falling short when others seem to be meeting milestones they haven't achieved. Social media has only made that comparison easier, and its repercussions more prevalent.
2. Feeling so behind and not on track with their life goals
It’s not uncommon for people who use other people’s lives as a guideline for their own milestones to develop anxiety about falling behind.
They could be working a good job and raising wonderful kids and still feel left behind because they haven't bought a house. Societal pressure to follow a specific timeline as a measure of success affects everyone.
Just because they have the tools to succeed in their own way doesn’t mean it’s not still challenging to unwind their social conditioning.
3. Dealing with their own emotions and conflict with other people
It's hard to find the energy to manage emotions and conflict in a healthy way when we're all time-poor and tired. When someone already has a lot on their plate, it can be easier to bow out and avoid the hard stuff.
However, even though these avoidant behaviors offer a break in the moment, over time, they’re setting themselves up for more stress, anxiety, and depressive symptoms by putting their needs and feelings on the back burner. They're likely hurting their relationships too.
4. Major life transitions and change of any kind
PeopleImages | Shutterstock.com
We’re wired to dislike and avoid change, but unfortunately, the discomfort of change is exactly what we need to grow and evolve. That’s why building a tolerance for uncertainty is essential; without it, we’re at risk for more frequent negative emotional states and stress.
Sometimes, it’s impossible to be your most resilient self. Even the most capable people still struggle when their life changes overnight. It’s difficult, and just because they have the tools and strategies to manage it doesn’t mean it doesn’t occasionally take a toll.
5. Letting go of toxic people
Outgrowing people who aren't good for us is tricky. Think of childhood friends or even colleagues who you are forced to interact with regularly. It's easy to stay connected with people simply because of a shared history.
The problems really show themselves when mentally and emotionally capable people start excusing their bad behavior because of that history. Just like with change, it's hard to let go of what has become comfortable in our lives, but holding on to toxic people will eventually backfire.
6. Leaning on convenience
While the modern world and all the new convenient advancements we have access to, whether that’s DoorDash or AI, can make our daily lives easier, sometimes that kind of convenience sabotages happiness and well-being.
We save time when we order food online, but we also miss out on the joy of interacting with a stranger. Our culture is wired for comfort and convenience, so it’s easy to slip into these routines and wonder why we feel disconnected and impatient.
Even fully capable professionals may feel a pressure to use AI for efficiency at work, even if it goes against their moral compass and personal values, just to protect their job stability. It’s a constant battle that even the most competent and emotionally strong people continue to struggle with.
7. Staying present in the moment
Jelena Zelen | Shutterstock.com
In a world where so many people are battling chronic stress, it’s no surprise that we struggle to live in the present moment. We’re often pressured to work and plan ahead, chasing things that pull us out of the joy of the present moment.
Daily stress alone can promote more mind-wandering, pulling us out of the moments that create meaning and purpose. We spend our days how we spend our entire lives, and even for the most capable people, it can drain us quickly.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
