People Who Are Complex & Kind-Hearted Usually Say 8 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Eyüpcan Timur | PexelsWe're complicated by nature. With a blend of innate traits and interests, our personalities change and evolve as we get older.
Despite our shared complexities, people who are complicated but kind tend to get a bad rap. They're labeled as too much and often become pressured to suppress their authenticity in the name of conformity. But the most kind-hearted, complex people say certain phrases that remind us why they're so important.
Complex and kind-hearted people usually say these phrases casually
1. 'I can understand where you're coming from'
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Going through a lot of complicated experiences tends to aid empathy. Even if they haven't been through the same things or even agree with who they're talking to, these people can create space to validate their experiences anyway.
This kind of empathy influences prosocial behavior and support, but on a smaller scale, these interactions are more compassionate when a thoughtful, kind-hearted person is around. They might have a lot of baggage themselves, but it doesn't always have to be heavy.
2. 'There's room for you here'
Many complicated people have dealt with challenges and pain of their own, including social pain or rejection. We tend to underestimate just how powerful feeling like an outsider really is, which is part of what makes inclusion so profound, even in the form of a phrase like "there's room for you here."
Kind-hearted people may be complicated in relationships or have trauma they're not wearing on their sleeve, but they still care about others.
They can hold space for someone's mistakes, while also making them feel heard. They can have a hard conversation and still hold someone. They're not black-and-white thinkers, and they're not afraid to be empathetic in difficult situations.
3. 'I'm upset with you'
Sometimes, you can disagree or express your pain without being a harsh critic. You don't have to judge someone and put their dignity on the line to express how you feel.
People who are complex but still kind create space for empathy in any situation, especially difficult ones. Even when it's easier to start calling names and judging people who have disappointed them, they focus on their own emotions first.
4. 'How can I help?'
In a group of people or social spaces, where it's a lot easier for people to make excuses for not helping someone in need, empathetic people are there. They're present and supportive, even when it takes away from their own time and energy.
Usually, it's people who have been through a lot that are more empathetic. The same way someone in a low-income situation is more generous with their money, someone with a history of trauma is more likely to support someone struggling emotionally.
5. 'Tell me more about that'
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Sometimes, even when they have the advice to offer someone who's struggling, the most kind-hearted people prefer to be a supportive friend and a shoulder to cry on. Yes, they want to understand someone's perspective, hence the casual phrase "tell me more," but they're also not in a hurry to fix a person's emotions if that's not what they're looking for.
That's why unsolicited advice from someone trying to shut down a conversation feels so intrusive and invalidating. When we just want to express ourselves and seek support, the last thing we want is someone trying to push those feelings away.
6. 'It's okay to feel that way'
In a world full of avoidance, it's rare to cross paths with someone who's genuinely present. They make space for what you're feeling, even when it's hard to listen to or difficult to sit with. They may even empathize because they've been in a similar situation, bringing understanding that not everyone can offer.
They're resilient in these difficult conversations because they've gone through enough hardship themselves to know how powerful a safe space can be.
7. 'Both things are acceptable'
Openness is a trait closely aligned with success and achievement for a reason. It's the people who can open themselves up to new perspectives and challenge their own mindsets who learn and grow the most.
Complex people may even have certain conflicting opinions and beliefs themselves. But they don't stifle their options or put themselves in a box by trying to be right all the time, instead focusing on learning and understanding.
8. 'I'm giving you some grace'
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Complicated people understand there's a difference between someone's intentions and the outcomes of their behavior. They can hold space for their own hurt and disappointment, while also empathizing with a person.
It doesn't completely obscure a need for accountability, but they're not going to sabotage their own well-being by holding forgiveness over the head of someone with good intentions. They're complicated, with the ability to create space for hard discussions and difficult emotional situations.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
