People Who Are Embarrassed By Their Own House Say These 8 Phrases When Guests Arrive

When guests show up out of the blue, it can be a real shock. With dishes in the sink and stacks of papers around, people who are embarrassed by their home become hyper-aware of every little imperfection.

They want to have guests, they want to be welcoming and warm, but their home is a mess. The good news is that most people actually feel more comfortable when a house is a little messy. So take heart that you're not the only one trying to save face and cope when guests arrive.

People who are embarrassed by their messy houses say these phrases when guests arrive:

1. 'Sorry about the mess'

woman in green sweater saying sorry about the mess and laughing as she chats with friend on couch PeopleImages | Shutterstock

The overflowing list of chores when you have a family can become impossible, especially if someone is short on time. Often. they may convince themselves that stalling for a day or two isn't a big deal, the next thing they know it's been four days and it looks like an explosion hit your house!

Now, with no time to get anything done, embarrassed people usually say, "Sorry about the mess," once guests arrive. It's totally embarrassing and they instantly see the mess in a way they hadn't before.

Why would they care? Well, people care about their reputation, and for good reason. As general internist and former Director of Primary Care at the University of Chicago, Alex Lickerman, M.D., writes, "A good reputation smoothes out the journey somewhat, and a bad one causes doors to slam in our face and tests our confidence in ourselves."

That's why most people can't stand to have someone see their messy home. It isn't just a sign of laziness, they worry it can ruin our opportunities, too.

2. 'I wasn't expecting anyone over'

woman on phone saying i wasn't expecting anyone as she looks slightly panicked simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock

Most people procrastinate when it comes to cleaning. They don't mean to, but with kids, family, and a career to prioritize, they push things until the last possible second. There's so little time to relax in this life, they just want to chill and the mess doesn't bother them much.

That's probably why they panic when guests arrive unexpectedly. Now, with little time to get anything together, embarrassed people say, "I wasn't expecting anyone."

There's nothing worse than being caught off-guard, especially when you're at home. But just because your house is messy doesn't mean you need to panic. One-off moment doesn't define who you are. So, give yourself grace. You can always clean up another day.

3. 'Don't judge me too much'

woman in orange shirt saying don't judge me too much to man Anatoliy Karlyuk | Shutterstock

People don't want to feel judged. Even if their house looks like a tornado hit it, they don't want to feel like someone thinks less of them as a person. In the same way they give others grace, they want to be given grace too. That's probably why embarrassed people say, "Don't judge me too much."

They sound playful, but deep inside, they aren't joking. That's becuase one of the worst feelings in the world is being rejected. It doesn't just make us feel humiliated. Social rejection leads to anger, anxiety, depression, and sadness. That's why people shouldn't be too harsh. Yes, it's a hot mess, but people are allowed to have off days.

4. 'It's usually not this bad'

woman upset at messy house as she thinks it's usually not this bad Prathankarnpap | Shutterstock

Most people with messy homes don't realize how messy their houses are until someone comes over. One minute everything was perfectly organized, and the next, it looks like they haven't cleaned in weeks. Now, with no time to tidy up, embarrassed people can't help but say, "It's usually not this bad," when guests arrive.

In reality, it probably is this bad all the time, and that's OK! Nobody is obligated to keep a tidy home, as long as it is clean enough to be healthy. But humans are social creatures and naturally crave the approval of those around them. That's probably why embarrassed people feel the need to save face. They'd rather give their excuses than let guests assume the worst.

5. 'Sorry, I'm still trying to get everything organized'

woman in yellow shirt texting i'm still trying to get everything organized as she unpacks Grustock | Shutterstock

You're never done cleaning. It doesn't matter how deep a clean you do. In a week, there's always something in the house you've got to organize. That's why it isn't a pesky excuse when you say, "I'm still trying to get everything organized."

No, you didn't stall with cleaning this time. You just haven't had time to organize the piles of folded laundry on your sofa or the stack of mail and random kids' toys on your counter.

And since your guests are now here, you can't exactly stop everything to organize your house. You've got to be a good host and fake smiles. So for now, make small apologies and leave everything else for later. It's embarrassing, sure, but there's nothing else you can do.

6. 'Ignore all this'

woman holding friend's hand as she says ignore all this Fit Ztudio | Shutterstock

There are no other excuses you can make once guests arrive at your messy house. You can sit there and say you haven't had the time to pick up your socks or clean up all those papers you left on the coffee table, but in reality, you may just be messy.

That's why embarrassed people choose to say, "Ignore all this." They'd like to go back in time and make the mess disappear. Instead, they'd like to pretend it doesn't exist.

They aren't going to lie. They'd rather just admit it: It's a mess, try to ignore it! And that's OK.

7. 'I know it's a little cramped in here'

man telling friends i know it's a little cramped in here as they sit on couch MAYA LAB | Shutterstock

One of the worst combinations is having a mess in a small house. No matter how much you desperately try to organize everything, it's going to feel a little overwhelming. The same amount of mess in a bigger space may feel like nothing, but in your home, it feels like you're drowning in stuff.

That's why people who are embarrassed by the state of their home often say, "I know it's a little cramped in here." They hope their friends realize that it's the size of the space, not the size of the mess.

They want guests to feel comfortable, but it's hard. With limited space and no time to put everything together, they feel like they fell short. Hopefully their loved ones understand and can say, "It's no big deal!" and truly mean it.

8. 'Just don't look too closely'

woman telling man don't look too closely as they sit on couch simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock

Is having a clean home ideal for most people? Absolutely. Keeping a clean home keeps us calm and gives us a sense of control. But just because a clean home is ideal doesn't mean it's always possible. People try, but in real life, it doesn't work that way. Especially if you have a large family, sometimes all you can say is, "Don't look too closely."

They are kinda joking when they say it, but also not really. They know they need to wipe down their walls and vacuum their living room, but give them a break. They're human and are bound to make mistakes. So, rather than judging, be graceful. Kindness goes a long way.

Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.

People Who Are Embarrassed By Their Own House Usually Say 8 Phrases When Guests Arrive