Emotionally Deep People Usually Like Talking About 6 Things Everyone Else Tries To Avoid
Rawpixel.com | ShutterstockEmotionally deep people aren't interested in chit-chat. They want to dive deep with whoever they're talking to and find out what makes them tick.
Not everyone is necessarily on board with a conversation that feels like a therapy session, though. Most people prefer to keep things light. That doesn't exactly make them popular at parties, but one-on-one, their emotional clarity and empathy make people open up without even realizing they're doing it.
6 things emotionally deep people talk about that most people steer clear of:
1. What you think and why
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Emotionally deep people love to ask deep questions; it's kind of in the name. Getting deep entails going much further than what small talk ever would. Emotionally deep people have a way of sprinkling in deep follow-up questions that demonstrate their social awareness and empathy.
Asking something as bland as what you do for a living is just a way to dig deeper into why you chose your career and whether you like the work you do. They don't necessarily care about the plot of your favorite movie or series, but they do want to know why it strikes a chord with you.
2. Opposing viewpoints
Many people tend to try to steer conversations away from disagreement because it makes them uncomfortable. People who process emotions intensely want to explore those opposing views and even welcome healthy disagreement. It's all a part of understanding each other and what we value and how we feel.
“Disagreement is inevitable, and our success or failure in relationships is often based on whether we can navigate that disagreement successfully, and build trust in spite of it,” said Michael Yeomans, Ph.D., an assistant professor of strategy and organizational behavior at Imperial College London.
3. Personal experiences
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Emotionally deep people are comfortable sharing personal information. That's because when they show vulnerability, it makes sharing much easier for the person they are talking to.
Though small talk is rarely their speed, emotionally deep people can use it to bridge the emotional gap between them and the person they're talking to. By sharing significant experiences from their lives, they show trust. It's why they are so easy to open up to, even if you don't intend to.
4. Secrets
And speaking of opening up... Emotionally deep people aren't afraid to go straight to sharing secrets. This isn't gossip, mind you. This is sharing things that a person may not have ever shared with others before because it creates a bond.
An emotionally deep person might offer an anecdote from childhood that showed vulnerability, or they might even confess a secret love of reality TV that they usually hide from the general public. It opens the door for reciprocal sharing. It creates trust without needing a long history to back it up.
Psychologist Arthur Aron created the viral 36 Questions to Fall in Love list, designed specifically to help people on first dates go from strangers to "connections stronger than lifelong friendships." Many of these questions involve secrets like your most terrible memory and how close of a relationship they have with their mother.
5. Their own opinion
Emotionally deep people are extremely self-aware and know they have a right to their opinion. They are happy to share any and all of their opinions because they are theirs, so why shouldn't they?
A 2021 study by Crucial Learning found that 11% of people believe that they own the right to their own opinion. Emotionally deep people validate their own opinions rather than rely on other people to validate them. By owning their opinions and willingly sharing them, they also open the door for others to do the same.
6. Polarizing topics
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Most people follow the thinking that there are certain topics like religion and politics that should not be discussed willy-nilly. Unsurprisingly, emotionally deep people willingly jump into polarizing discussions. They aren't trying to change minds or force arguments, either. They are trying to learn and understand.
For example, Climate Lab conducted a study on climate change discussions. Their findings showed that people not only held the false belief that others didn't care, but also that it was a welcome conversation to have, and that they found their colleagues did, in fact, care about climate change.
Lyss Micalizzi is a writer covering human interest and pop culture, with a master’s in Literature and Culture, a bachelor’s in English Literary and Textual Studies, and over six years of writing and social media experience. Their work is driven by the belief that stories are what make us human.
