11 Subtle Traits Of People Who Can’t Be Easily Influenced By Others
Halfpoint / ShutterstockAlmost everyone I know wants to think of themselves as a free thinker, but the truth is quite the opposite. Most people are fairly influenced by others. While they may have their own nuanced opinions about things, the average person will follow the lead of the general populace. That’s why peer pressure is so powerful.
It’s a rare person who doesn’t get influenced by others. So, are you one of the few people who doesn’t always go with what happens to be popular at the time? If you naturally possess certain personality traits, you probably aren’t easy to influence.
These are 11 subtle traits of people who can’t be easily influenced by others
1. They ask for proof
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If you tell someone that a certain product or trend is popular, it’s likely they will believe you right off the bat. A person who’s a free thinker won’t be that way. They will ask you for real proof of what you said, such as numbers, studies, or more information on why something is the best route.
Social proof sways most people, but not everyone. If you’ve ever been the person who would ask a Sunday school teacher why dinosaur bones exist, chances are high that you’re one of those people who can’t be easily influenced by what others say.
2. People often call them difficult
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Did you ever notice how often the word “difficult” tends to mean “person who doesn’t agree with everyone?” It’s not just you. Tonya Lester, LMSW, explained that getting called “difficult” often is a way of saying that your boundaries and assertiveness upset people who may want to control you.
Most manipulators love people who are easily influenced by others. They adore it because it makes controlling their targets a breeze. If you don’t go with the flow very easily, chances are they’ll call you “difficult” or a litany of other names.
3. Rejection doesn’t scare them as much as others
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Did you know that rejection activates the same parts of the brain as real physical pain? It’s true. Rejection hurts, literally. We, as humans, are wired to be social creatures, and that means we need others for survival. Yet at the same time, that need can become a serious issue: allowing others to influence you in toxic ways.
If you’ve gotten used to rejection and social blowback, you are less likely to care when people give you judgmental looks. When you’re less likely to care, hearing people call you “weird” is not going to change your opinion.
4. It’s likely they experienced trauma involving following a crowd
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Maybe it’s just me, but I've noticed a lot of people in my circles have been traumatized by situations in which they were coerced into following leaders. This can sometimes be a result of being in an extremely strict church, having a parent who would never tolerate being questioned, or even being bullied in school.
Regardless of why the trauma happened, people who have this trait tend to have it sparked by a particular event. It can, at times, be a sign that they’re overcompensating for something they did earlier in life.
5. They stopped feeling shame about breaking away from the status quo
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Most of us, at one point or another, have felt a little ashamed about being the odd man out when it comes to opinions. This is particularly true if you’re not conforming to cultural standards. It’s a real phenomenon referred to by Imi Lo, MA, as “breakaway shame.”
If you want to be able to live as a happy non-conformist, being able to learn how to silence that shame is vital. Most people who aren’t influenced by others’ opinions have already won that battle. After all, they probably would have let the status quo continue if they hadn’t.
6. A strong sense of justice is a core part of their being
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A 2017 study from Stanford University revealed something interesting about why people rebel. This study showed that people tend to turn against group opinions when they notice serious injustices being committed as a result of that group’s ideology.
People with a strong sense of justice and fairness are far more likely to turn against group commands earlier. After all, people who care about justice are going to be a lot more disgusted by acts of cruelty and unfairness than the average person. It would elicit a visceral reaction.
7. They’ll wear what they want, regardless of the typical fashion choices in their area.
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Fashion is an entire industry that runs on the fact that people are influenced by other people. It’s an industry about looking cool and being stylish in a way that flaunts you in a socially acceptable way. Or at the very least, grab attention while expressing yourself. In other words, fashion is just as much for yourself as it is for others.
People who aren’t influenced by other people aren’t going to be swayed by fashion. They won’t care about what’s in style or what’s deemed to be flattering by others. They will wear what they want to wear and what they feel comfortable in. The concept of fashion doesn’t “hit” with them, so they just stick to what they enjoy.
8. Many of society’s rules and expectations make no sense to them
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A person who isn’t influenced by other people will typically stick to the rules that make sense to them from a logical standpoint. Social pressures and expectations that don’t make sense to them won’t appear worth following unless they absolutely are forced to.
During childhood, these were the kids who would often break rules because they didn’t understand why the rules were there. Or, they were the teenagers who would wear goth clothes to church because they (rightfully) assumed God would love them regardless of what they wore. In adulthood, they often ignore social cues if they think they don't make sense.
9. They are more likely to be upper-class or high-income
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The Harvard Business Review published an interesting study that also aligns with the non-conformist mindset we’re discussing. A 2017 study revealed that people who are from working-class and working-poor mindsets are far more likely to have a collectivist view on life. This means they tend to think of the collective more than themselves and are more likely to be influenced by others’ needs and opinions.
Wealthier, upper-class families are more likely to encourage their kids to see themselves as separate from society. They are more likely to encourage individualistic ideals, which translates into children who don’t get as influenced by others around them.
10. Risks don’t scare them
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Most people don’t realize how risky it can be to march to the beat of a different drum. It can cut you off from opportunities, wreck your ability to network, and even make you responsible for problems you didn’t create. It’s scary and can be life-altering.
People who aren’t influenced by others' opinions tend to be fairly aware of the risks. They know what they are dealing with because they likely have dealt with it before. Risks are a part of their day-to-day life. They’re used to it.
11. They are the people you need when you want a creative solution to a problem
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When people started saying the phrase “think outside the box," they likely had these folks in mind. The “box” most people tend to think in involves the basic understandings and hints given to us by society. After a while of hearing those same limitations, we internalize them as borders.
A person who doesn’t really pay attention to others’ opinions won’t always have the same boundaries of thought that most others do. They won’t take those boundaries as a must. After all, they’re so “outside the box,” they can’t even see the box that contains others!
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
