10 Seemingly Minor But Seriously Bad Habits That Ruin An Otherwise Good First Impression
Jose Calsina | ShutterstockWhen we're meeting someone for the very first time, we want to be on our best behavior. We may wear clothes that make us stand out or try to prove how important we can become in their lives. However, there are seemingly minor but seriously bad habits that ruin an otherwise good first impression, and it's usually behaviors we have without even noticing.
Because first impressions are made in one-tenth of a second, it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "snap judgment." Making a good impression has a lot to do with what you say, but it also has to do with nonverbal communication and body language. Unfortunately, sometimes we rub people the wrong way in an initial meeting despite our best efforts.
Here are 10 seemingly minor but seriously bad habits that ruin an otherwise good first impression
1. Not asking questions
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According to etiquette experts from the Emily Post Institute, there are three main principles of etiquette: consideration, honesty, and respect. When we first meet someone new, we exchange basic information with them, like what we do for work, where we live, and what our hobbies are. It might be tempting to take up space in the conversation by blabbing about yourself, but talking too much and listening too little can make you seem self-centered.
In order to make a solid impression, remember to ask people questions about themselves and really listen when they give you their answers. Make sure your questions don't veer into the territory of topics that are too personal or private. Stick to simple inquiries. Even just asking someone how their day is going will give you a major boost as far as making a good impression goes.
2. Close-talking
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Though it's a seemingly minor bad habit, when you talk too close to someone's face when during an initial meeting, it can ruin an otherwise good first impression. It's important to respect people's physical boundaries, meaning you should only touch people when they give active consent, and it allow them space when you're having a conversation with them.
If you're talking to someone and they take a step backwards or lean away, it probably means that you're talking too closely for their comfort. Keeping a good amount of distance between yourself and the person you're talking to is an easy way to ensure that you're making a good impression.
3. Keeping your arms crossed
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According to research done by psychology professor Albert Mehrabian, communication can be broken down into three essential parts. The Mehrabian Communication Model holds that body language accounts for 55% of communication, tone of voice for 38%, and 7% is the actual words being spoken. This theory suggests that how we hold ourselves has a huge impact on the way people see us.
Hunching your shoulders and crossing your arms over your chest sends a message that you're uncomfortable and don't want to be bothered. This posture is fine if you're standing alone in a crowded room or with friends you've known a long time, but if you're in the middle of a conversation with someone you just met, it gives off the impression that you'd rather be doing anything else but talk to them.
So, let your arms hang loosely at your sides. Keep your posture attentive yet relaxed. This way, you let the person you're speaking to know that they have your undivided attention.
4. Being chronically late
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While people's opinions on lateness depend on what generation they belong to, being chronically late shows a general disregard for someone's time. Whether you have a boss who always starts and ends meetings late or a friend who never shows up on time to dinner, being late affects people's opinions of you.
Lateness can also impact workflow and productivity levels. In fact, researchers spent four years analyzing the timecards of more than 100,000 workers from over 500 U.S. grocery stores, and found that lateness has a widespread ripple effect on how well organizations operate.
Employees who showed up late came to work an average of 21 minutes after their start time. Lateness led to a decline in daily sales: a 1% increase in lateness corresponded to 1% lower sales per transaction. Being on time is an essential part of making a good impression on both a personal and professional level.
5. Playing on your phone
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Being glued to our phones has become fairly normalized behavior, despite the risks of having too much screen time. Yet there are certain times when taking our phones out is majorly inconsiderate. When we're in a conversation with someone face to face, looking at our screens is very rude, and it makes the other person think we're uninterested in what they have to say.
Scrolling through your phone is fine if you're on your own, but if you do it when you're with other people, it's a clear indication that you'd rather not be bothered. Keep your phone in your pocket during conversations to make sure you make a good first impression. Otherwise, you may ruin your chances of making a connection.
6. Oversharing
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Saying too little in a conversation can be seen as rude, and as if you have nothing to add to the topic at hand. But the same goes for saying too much. While your intentions might be good, as an attempt to relate to them on a personal level, oversharing personal information makes others feel uncomfortable.
In order to prevent yourself from ruining an otherwise good first impression, keep yourself in check so as to not cross any unspoken boundaries. Avoid conversation topics that get too deep too quickly and, above all else, be polite.
7. Conversation cornering
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We've all been in awkward situations at parties, but one type of behavior makes an especially poor impression: cornering someone in a conversation and not letting them leave. Trapping people in a conversation that goes on for too long doesn't frame you in the best light, and means you're actively ignoring the cues that they want to move on, like shifting their gaze and speaking less.
It's good to be passionate when we talk to people, but being so passionate that we misread their body language makes us seem socially awkward. Pay close attention to how a person acts when you speak with them. If they start backing up or can't seem to focus on the topic at hand, take a literal step away and think about whether or not it's time to let them be.
8. Forgetting people's names
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A tried and true method of making a good impression starts with one simple question: "What's your name?" Make it a point to get to know someone on a personal level by asking their name and using it in conversation. When you remember a person's name, you make them feel valued, which is an essential part of making lasting connections.
As experts from Michigan State University Extension explained, "As much as we like to be recognized and called by our name, it's important we use others' names as much as possible too. Using a person's name in conversation has several benefits. It creates a culture of respect, recognition and consideration for the discussion."
9. Talking over people
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Interrupting people is not only incredibly rude, it really ruins the vibe of the conversation. Especially in a professional setting, talking over people during meetings or in the general workplace makes a very bad impression. It might seem like making a good impression requires following complex rules, but really, it's fairly simple manners.
According to a study from Harvard Business Review, 98% of employees reported experiencing rude behavior in the workplace. Researchers found that incivility at work has long-lasting effects on morale and productivity. Among workers who had been treated poorly, 48% reported taking part in some form of quiet quitting, or decreasing their efforts on purpose, 66% said their performance declined, and 78% said that their commitment to the company decreased.
10. Avoiding eye contact
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Eye contact is a subtle yet powerful signals that people can pick up on almost instantly. But when you avoid making eye contact with someone during a conversation, it's a bad habit that ruins an otherwise good first impression. By avoiding eye contact, you're showing the other person that you're disinterested or dishonest, and they may feel like you're not fully present, even if you're listening carefully.
When you make eye contact, even if it feels uncomfortable or awkward, you're showing engagement. You're invested in the words they're saying, using other small cues like nodding or smiling to show that you're genuinely paying attention. So, keep eye contact to make a good impression that lets everyone know you're comfortable, respectful, and interested in what they're saying.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
