11 Reasons People Born In The 60s & 70s Still Shake Hands & Look People In The Eye While Younger Generations Avoid It Like The Plague
Kinga | ShutterstockPeople born in the 60s and 70s grew up in a time when a firm handshake and steady eye contact were seen as basic signs of respect. Today, those same habits can feel unfamiliar or even uncomfortable to younger generations who were raised with different social expectations and communication styles.
That evolution doesn't mean one generation is more polite than another. It reflects changing parenting norms, digital communication, personal boundaries, and cultural awareness that have reshaped how people connect face-to-face. Here are the reasons people born in the 60s and 70s still shake hands and look people in the eye, while younger generations often avoid it.
11 reasons people born in the 60s and 70s still shake hands and look people in the eye:
1. They grew up with more face-to-face social interaction
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Back in the day, people born in the 60s and 70s weren't as isolated. Whether it was hanging out with friends every day or going to social events on the weekends, regular face-to-face interaction was simply part of life. Today, many younger people spend less time socializing in person, and loneliness has been steadily rising in recent years. According to the American Psychological Association, global loneliness increased significantly during periods of widespread social disruption, which affected how comfortable many people felt in everyday interactions such as handshakes and direct eye contact.
So, it shouldn't come as much of a surprise that some younger generations don't have the same social skills as those from the 60s and 70s. Especially for those who were socially distanced during their most formative years, shaking hands may seem obvious, but some individuals who aren't as socially experienced struggle with the basics of life. Facing an increase in isolation and loneliness compared to previous generations, it'll take many years to reverse the damage caused.
2. Safety messaging made younger generations more cautious around strangers
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Life isn't the same as it once was. While it was encouraged for people to help strangers, or it wasn't a huge deal if someone left their doors unlocked, recent years have made people feel increasingly wary. From strangers turning on you to people putting suspicious-looking napkins on your car door in the hopes of harming you, you can't afford to be nice nowadays.
This is probably why the younger generations don't shake hands or look people in the eye. A simple scroll through social media reveals that people have become uneasy in recent years. Everywhere people scroll, they hear stories about how being nice could lead to potential harm. So, while shaking hands and making eye contact were once common, younger generations have to be cautious, even if it means being rude at times.
3. Social etiquette used to be taught more directly at home
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While everyone would love to blame the younger generations for their 'rude behavior,' it's important to remember that upbringing has a huge impact. From the way people greet one another to the way they act in their day-to-day lives, parents who place less emphasis on social expectations are one of the many reasons some kids don't know how to shake hands firmly or look people in the eye.
If parents aren't modeling or teaching certain social habits early on, it makes sense that kids might grow up with different expectations around things like handshakes or eye contact. According to the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine, "Among the many relationships that influence children's growth and development, perhaps the most influential is the one that exists between parent and child." So when social norms shift across generations, it often reflects changes in what adults choose to emphasize rather than something younger people are doing wrong.
4. Younger generations are more aware of personal boundaries
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Many people born in the 60s and 70s see younger generations as "weak" because they don't always understand why they have so many boundaries. And while that can come across as dramatic to some, one reason younger people don't always shake hands or make direct eye contact is that they're trying to respect personal space and avoid making anyone uncomfortable. Not everyone sees it the same way, but boundaries look different for everyone.
While some people may prefer hugs, others feel uncomfortable with handshakes or prolonged eye contact. When someone feels intimidated or out of their element, it's harder to connect if their personal boundaries feel crossed. That's part of why younger generations sometimes stick to simpler greetings. What looks like distance to one person may just feel like respect to someone else, and for many, a quick hello or a wave feels more natural than strong eye contact and a formal handshake.
5. Cultural diversity reshaped what counts as respectful behavior
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In the United States, it's normal for people to give bright smiles, hefty handshakes, and prolonged eye contact to strangers. While viewing it as a sign of respect, it can be frustrating when some in younger generations lose those old-school values.
But not everyone views shaking hands as a sign of respect. In fact, staring at someone for too long or touching them could be viewed as offensive or a challenge, depending on the culture. This is why the younger generation has forgone shaking hands altogether.
As the US becomes more diverse, with it comes the need to accommodate. It may upset some in older generations; however, many don't view these changes negatively. According to the Pew Research Center, "More than six-in-ten Americans (64%) say the fact that the U.S. population is made up of people of many different races and ethnicities has a positive impact on the country's culture."
6. Digital communication replaced many in-person interactions
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Going out on a Friday night to meet new people isn't the norm now. Although it might have been true in the past, younger generations now prefer more social interactions digital. Whether it's dating or making new friends, communicating on phones and social media is the new standard. While there's nothing wrong with it, this might explain why people born in the 60s and 70s prefer in-person handshakes and eye contact, whereas those born later aren't as interested.
Socializing as a whole has changed drastically. With very little real-life interaction, the social etiquette that was once well-known is slowly losing its appeal. It may suck, but it's not like shaking hands is gone forever. While it might not always be the preferred method, in some environments, like work, this social etiquette will remain.
7. Respect is expressed differently now
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Decades ago, showing respect primarily involved shaking hands and maintaining eye contact. However, circumstances have evolved since that time. Since the increased advocacy for mental health and healthier relationships, the meaning of respect has broadened significantly. Instead of demonstrating respect through body language, younger generations express it in different ways.
From listening closely (even if that doesn't always involve steady eye contact) to giving people personal space, younger generations often show respect in ways that look different from what was common in the 60s and 70s. Because of that, it's not surprising that skipping a handshake isn't always meant to be rude.
As international speaker and author Cindy Watson, B.A., LLB, JD, explains, "Respect is recognizing someone else's humanity or personhood. It is seeking to listen to and understand the other person. It is ensuring one does not see other people as mere means to an end."
8. Individual comfort is prioritized more today
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Back in the day, people born in the 60s and 70s tended to place a strong emphasis on community. Whether that meant putting others first or caring more about reputation and social expectations, things felt less individualistic than they do now.
That's part of why younger generations aren't always as focused on shaking hands and making steady eye contact. While some people see that as selfish or rude, younger people are often more comfortable doing what feels natural to them rather than following older social rules.
This means that if they feel uncomfortable about something, they're quick to put their needs first. The older generations may not always agree, but in their eyes, putting their needs first is the number one way to achieve happiness.
9. Authenticity matters more than social performance
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Everyone wants to be happy. Whether that means starting a family or traveling the world, most people are trying to build a life that feels genuinely fulfilling. But the way people go about that has changed since the 60s and 70s.
While it once meant putting others first and following certain social expectations, younger generations tend to prioritize authenticity over social performance, which is part of why they don't feel as strongly about things like handshakes or prolonged eye contact.
Could they fake it until they make it and put up with it, even if it's uncomfortable? Sure, however, if it isn't work-related, don't expect them to be so self-sacrificial. Agree with them or not, but sticking true to themselves is what the younger generation prioritizes most.
This isn't always a bad thing, as Personality and Individual Differences reports that authenticity is associated with better well-being and happiness.
10. Workplace culture became less formal over time
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Shaking hands and looking people in the eye aren't always seen as signs of respect. For some people, especially in workplace settings, those habits can feel tied to hierarchy rather than connection. A study published in Frontiers in Psychology notes that in many animals, prolonged eye contact is often linked to aggression or intimidation.
Because of that, younger generations sometimes see these behaviors differently from people born in the 60s and 70s. It may not always make sense to those who grew up with these habits as the norm, but many younger people place greater emphasis on equal footing and on making others feel comfortable. Instead of relying on traditional signals of respect, they're often more focused on building camaraderie in ways that feel natural and non-intimidating.
11. Confidence is expressed in different ways now
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Finally, one reason people born in the 60s and 70s still shake hands and look people in the eye, while younger generations often don't, is that they express confidence differently. Confidence isn't always about how firm someone's handshake is or how much eye contact they maintain.
Whether it’s speaking their mind, standing their ground, or simply feeling comfortable being themselves, confidence today isn't always tied to traditional social signals. That's part of why younger generations aren't always fans of handshakes or prolonged eye contact.
While some people may see that as rude, many younger people feel that being authentic and at ease leads to more genuine conversations than constantly worrying about social etiquette.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.
