11 Rare Habits That Make A Woman Seem Superior & Mysteriously Hard To Figure Out
stockfilms88 / ShutterstockIn recent years, I started to get into the idea of “dark spirituality,” especially when it comes to how I behave in the dating sphere. One of the big tropes I started to get into is the sultry, dark, mystery-laden vibes of a femme fatale. I call it “Lilith energy.”
Unsurprisingly, women who seem superior and mysteriously hard to figure out tend to have some specific habits that make them incredibly attractive to others. Sometimes those habits come to them naturally, but they are also entirely possible to adopt yourself, even if you've never thought of them before.
Here are 11 rare habits that make a woman seem superior & mysteriously hard to figure out
1. Not being too smiley
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Did you notice how often Eastern European women are described as mysterious? Part of the reason for this is simply because of their mannerisms. Culturally speaking, it’s not normal to smile in Eastern Europe and Russia. Smiling is often seen as a sign that you’re untrustworthy or trying to get something out of others.
Here in the United States, it’s a matter of being polite. However, that lack of a smile tends to give a bit of a bonus stateside. People who smile less are often seen as more mysterious, making people wonder what’s really going on in their minds.
2. Not clinging to people easily
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We’ve all met someone who seemed to be super cool or even elite at the start, only to blow it by being a clingy mess. Clinginess is a sign of desperation and codependency. Neither desperation nor codependency is attractive. Clingy behavior can be devastating to relationships.
If you’re glued to someone’s side or constantly trying to chase someone down, they will start to see you as a nuisance. It kills your reputation and also makes you less mysterious. Being clingy is a great way to reduce your “social value” in friendship circles and romantic situations.
3. Asking about the person they are speaking with
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Many of us have had conversations with someone who managed to get all the information about the talker without offering an ounce of information about who they really are. We all know that people like to talk about themselves, but this goes beyond just charming other people.
When you focus on asking about others, it draws them in by stroking their egos. It also keeps the focus off you, which means that you still have an aura of mystery when people realize they still have no idea who you are as a person.
4. Not venting about their problems
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People who are mysterious are people who tend to have…well, mysteries around them. You don’t know their dirty laundry or their struggles. That naturally makes you appear more put together than the average person. People start to wonder, “What’s your real deal?”
Of course, this comes with a price. Studies show that discussing your problems can help your mental health immensely. Unfortunately, we live in a world where being mysterious and appearing high-status often open doors that would otherwise stay closed.
5. Observing what is going on around them
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If you’re anything like me, you are a person who tends to react immediately upon being emotionally triggered. It’s almost instinctual. However, that’s a bad idea for a number of reasons. Impulsive actions tend to come with a high price, including strained relationships from running your mouth.
Psychologists have long known the power of looking before you leap, especially when it comes to delicate relationships. Sitting back and watching rather than reacting makes a world of difference in how you’re perceived. Those who notice you will often wonder why you’re not joining in, but in a good way.
6. Resisting the urge to explain themselves
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People love a good explanation, particularly when it comes to the way others behave. Here’s the thing: you don’t always need a reason to do something. “ No" is a complete sentence, even though people don’t like hearing it.
Overexplaining makes you seem like you’re not in control of yourself and also gives people too much information. Overexplaining tends to stem from trauma, and honestly, most people know this, too. Needless to say, learning to avoid explanations for things tends to be a smart way to look more mentally healthy. And mental health? That’s attractive and high status as can be!
7. Revealing who they are slowly
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This tip is obvious for anyone who has ever read a good story or played a game with great character development. In almost any great storyline, you’ll notice that the story subtly pushes certain reveals along carefully. It almost feels like a drip feed of plot lines and backstories when it’s done right.
Writers do that because it makes people addicted to reading more of the story, so that they can unveil the truth. The same thing happens with actual people. The more you do the slow drip, the more people will be drawn to your mystery.
8. Getting a little distant from time to time
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Back when I was in college, I was the kid who was always hanging out at the main student center. It was a thing I did day in, day out. I wanted to appear available to chat at any time and thought that would work. What ended up happening was that people just saw my goofy self sitting at a table, cluelessly looking around, hoping that someone would chat me up.
I didn’t look available. I looked desperate. And a lot of people ended up picking up on that vibe because they always knew where I was or what I was doing. Taking time to just vanish or make yourself scarce is a smart way to avoid that mistake. Mysterious people aren’t always available. They’re a little hard to get!
9. Cutting negative people out of their lives quickly
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What’s the difference between a mysterious person and a person who gets ignored by everyone? In most cases, the big difference is confidence and how you carry yourself. Confident people exude a certain aura that can’t be faked with ease. They’re comfortable being alone, though they welcome company.
If you’re not confident, it may be time to check your entourage. More often than not, you might have people around you undermining your confidence. Ask yourself if you’ve noticed people insulting you, playing headgames with you, or otherwise trying to hurt you. If you’ve seen it, now is the time to cut them out. You’ll be surprised at how quickly you can blossom.
10. Focusing on their own needs first
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Shocker: the most mysterious people tend to be the people who put themselves first. This also tends to boost a person’s perceived status. As backward as it may sound, people are more likely to pursue selfish people than selfless ones. Despite selfless people often being willing to do more for others, selfish people are seen as high-status because they offer that opportunity for a chase.
By putting your needs first, you make it clear that you respect yourself. That feeds into the whole part of status that comes from confidence. It’s a beautiful thing, and it’s something that makes you mysteriously magnetic.
11. Showing their talents rather than telling
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Here’s a great story that illustrates this well. I was on a date with a fairly average-looking, nondescript guy. We went to a club together. He never told me much about his dancing skills, but when he got on the floor, it became very apparent that he was a professional-level breakdancer. The entire club was cheering him on, and I was blown away.
He kept his skills on the down-low, and when he revealed his abilities, it made everything ten times more impressive. It’s always tempting to brag about what you can do, but you might want to avoid that temptation. Showing what you can do is always more impressive…and it leaves others wondering what else you have up your sleeve.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
