People With Very Little Mental & Emotional Support Usually Say 9 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Anelo / ShutterstockWhen people don’t have a lot of support, they have to learn to rely on themselves while also dealing with a higher level of stress. That puts them in a pretty impossible position.
These people usually don’t like to give away the fact that they don’t have the emotional support they need. Still, it can be pretty easy to figure out what’s going on based on the things they say during casual conversations that reveal how hard things feel and how little they feel nurtured or cared about by pretty much anyone.
People who have very little support from anyone tend to say these phrases during casual conversations:
1. ‘Don’t worry about me’
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You would think people who aren’t well supported would be craving that kind of connection, but that isn’t always the case. People usually feel the most comfortable with whatever feels familiar to them, even if it’s not healthy.
Someone who’s never really been supported will come to expect that in a way that makes anything else feel scary. That’s how they get stuck in a pattern of rejecting support and pushing people away when they try to get close. They’ll tell everyone not to worry because that’s what they’re used to.
2. ‘It’s really not a big deal’
Pretty much everyone has been in an awkward situation where they opened up about something that’s been hard for them only to be met with no response at all. For those with hardly any support, that’s just the norm.
People without a strong support system are used to others acting like their problems don’t matter, so they often start minimizing their own feelings. It’s hard not to when they’ve internalized that message for so long. Even when they’re with someone who genuinely cares, they’ll downplay whatever they’re going through. As sad as it sounds, they’ve gotten used to thinking the big things in their life really aren’t all that serious.
3. ‘You have your own problems’
We’ve all heard someone dismiss their own issues, or someone else’s, by pointing out the fact that other people are going through something much harder. Even if that’s technically true, it doesn’t actually make anyone’s life easier.
People who have faced a lot of emotional invalidation will automatically sweep their own problems under the rug so they can focus on someone else’s. But no one is meant to be in some kind of competition where only the winner can talk about what they’re going through.
4. ‘I can take care of myself’
When someone doesn’t have adequate emotional support, they learn to do everything on their own pretty quickly. The problem is this actually makes them too independent, so they don’t know how to accept help when they need it.
We’re all taught that being self-reliant is a good thing, so we usually admire people who have that kind of attitude. It’s easy for people to take it too far, though. Then they don’t know what to do with support when someone actually offers it, putting them in the middle of a vicious cycle.
5. ‘That sounded more dramatic than it is’
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We can invalidate our own feelings just as easily as other people can, and when we do, it often comes with major consequences for our mental health. But people can get so used to having no support that it feels embarrassing to think anything else could happen.
They might say something really honest and then write it off as too dramatic or not important. It’s like they don’t give anyone the chance to care about them because they don’t expect them to.
6. ‘We don’t need to talk about it’
Very few people can claim to actually like talking about their challenges, or want to do it when someone could easily make them feel bad for having the courage to open up. When someone really has felt that way a lot, they’ll be even less likely to share.
Even if they mention something that’s been bothering them, they’ll move on quickly. Before anyone has a chance to say something, they’ll insist it’s not something they want to talk about. But what they’re really doing is avoiding more rejection.
7. ‘I don’t want to bother anyone’
There are many different reasons someone may get stuck in a rut that makes them feel like they’re causing a problem, including struggling with their relationships. In this case, their lack of support makes them feel like a burden.
This is trickier than just thinking people don’t care because it’s like they’re blaming themselves for other people’s inability to sympathize. They’re not doing anything wrong, but they start to believe it could be true.
8. ‘Sorry to dump that on you’
There’s no reason for someone to feel the need to apologize for being honest about what they’re going through, especially if the other person asked them to open up. Still, people who don’t have much confidence will often apologize anyway, even when they don't need to.
They truly don’t think other people want to hear about their lives, and they think they’re imposing on them when they do share. That can get in the way of them making connections with people who could really offer support, though.
9. ‘I’ll figure it out faster on my own’
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Most people are actually happy to help someone out, but anyone who’s dealt with limited support hasn’t experienced that for themselves, so they don’t believe it’s true.
That’s why they not only refuse to accept help, but also frame their problems as something they can solve more easily on their own. They don’t want anyone to know how much they’re struggling, so they act like doing it themselves is better, even when it’s not.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
