People Who Accept Too Much Responsibility & Instantly Regret It Usually Have 6 Defining Personality Traits
Chatchai.wa | ShutterstockFor folks who are dependable, people always look to them to solve their problems.
As a result, they accept far too much responsibility and end up regretting it almost right away. Their tendency to say yes points to very specific personality traits, some that do more harm than good.
People who accept too much responsibility and regret it have these personality traits
1. They feel responsible for everyone else's happiness
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When you're a highly responsible person, it can become easy to put others' happiness above your own. While it's selfless, at the same time, when you neglect your own wants and needs, you may feel regret.
Eleanor Gordon-Smith, assistant professor of ethics at University of Southern California, points out that people-pleasing like this does lots of harm to a person.
"Long term, this leads to resentment. Nobody's capable of suppressing their preferences forever. A mental inventory starts to build: all the times you didn't say no; all the things you didn't want to do... We conceal what we really wanted to 'make them happy' but then feel pushed around by them not knowing the very things we've made efforts to conceal," she said.
2. They strive for perfection
When people take on too much responsibility, it's often because they're perfectionists. They believe something has to be perfect, and if it isn't, they've failed to meet those high standards.
Any little mistake or setback derails their whole day, and they might even procrastinate out of fear of failure. Even when committed wholly to a task, their whole world revolves around completing it, and that takes up a lot of time and effort.
3. They don't know how to set boundaries
By not setting boundaries, some folks may take on more than they can handle due to their people-pleasing tendencies. Their default response is always "yes," but it's made much worse by their lack of boundaries.
They want everyone around them to be happy, but without setting proper boundaries, they leave the door open for others to take advantage of them.
4. They tie their helpfulness to their self-worth
When everyone depends on you to fix their problems, eventually your own self-worth is something you question. For those who want to be helpful to everyone around them, when things don't go as planned, they beat themselves up about it.
Being there to fix problems for the people you love or like is noble, but when you feel guilty or worthless when you're unable to, that's exactly how overly dependable people feel.
5. They feel guilty for saying no
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Maybe their boss needs a project completed by the end of the day or their family member is asking for a ride to the airport. Even though they already have enough on their plate, people like this feel guilty for saying no.
Because others look to them for help, they're constantly putting themselves in positions where they're needed, despite being busy. By not saying no and putting more on a full plate, they can burn themselves out.
They have an unhealthy responsibility for others. And as licensed marriage and family therapist Danielle B. Grossman explained, "You can be very supportive and generous to others and still be responsibly healthy. Unhealthy responsibility for others comes into play when you start believing that you are responsible for controlling how other people react when you say 'no.'"
6. They find it hard to let go
With a sense of self-dependency and responsibility, regret is difficult to shake when things don't work out. When they refuse to help someone or are unable to finish a task, this can cause a lot of distress.
People who find themselves in this position are unable to push their regret to the side. They can't easily move past what they see as a failure or flaw, so letting go is impossible.
Allison Peterson is a writer with a degree in English from the University of Nevada, Reno. She writes on relationships, lifestyle, and mental health topics.
