People Who Are Painfully Bored With Their Lives Almost Always Do 11 Specific Things
BearFotos | ShutterstockBoredom is great for us in healthy doses. But when we're living on autopilot, doing the same things every day and feeling bored all the time, it can remove the joy we're all yearning for.
Boredom becomes a point of contention and resentment when we're overly bored and unfulfilled in our lives. We start relying on healthy coping mechanisms and falling down the rabbit holes of mindless entertainment to stimulate our brains. Unfortunately, people who are painfully bored with their lives almost always do specific things and have routines that make them feel like they'll never get anywhere. Small moments of boredom let us ponder deeper meaning in life, but an entirely "boring life" removes meaning entirely.
People who are painfully bored with their lives almost always do 11 specific things
1. They avoid things they don't understand
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Discomfort is the key to growth in our lives. That's why things like novelty, asking for help, and trying new things are constantly the main themes of every self-help guru in the world. Getting out of your comfort zone can be intimidating and scary, but it's the key to living an exciting, meaningful, and confident life.
If someone is constantly sticking to things, places, and environments they know how to confidently deal with, they're missing out on chances to grow and evolve.
2. Their 'hobbies' feel like a burden
Many people feel pressured to adopt hobbies just because everyone else is. Whether it's reading or watching a certain kind of movie, of course someone who's not choosing rituals based on their own interest will be dissatisfied with their free time and daily lives.
The whole point of a hobby is to find something that you enjoy, that excites you in your free time, not something you believe will help your social image. They're bored in their lives because their free time is defined by the desires of other people in their lives or on the internet, rather than by themselves.
3. They overwork themselves
Considering burnout often mimics symptoms of low-grade depression, like a disinterest in things you used to enjoy, someone overworking themselves to cope with boredom is stuck in a cycle of isolation. They feel unfulfilled by their routines and rituals, and simultaneously disconnected from the social connections that usually bring them joy.
They're using busyness as a crutch to avoid addressing their boredom, and simultaneously missing out on the free time and leisure they need to figure out what really excites them.
4. They avoid social interactions and strangers
Before social media and our modern digital world, people made new connections almost every day. They had to get out into the world, and didn't have the option to resort to cell phones for constant entertainment and stimulation. Especially when this kind of screen time "crutch" only prompts more isolation and loneliness, people who are painfully bored with their lives almost always feel endlessly frustrated and sad by leaning on it to cope.
Even if it's talking to a stranger, small habits that break up the mundanity and certainty of life can make us happier. So, the cure for a boring life may actually be getting out of the house and speaking to people, instead of self-isolating or distracting ourselves from social anxiety behind a phone screen.
5. They consume more than they create
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Many people try to seek happiness through consumption, when, in reality, creating and sharing things ourselves is the key to fulfillment. Being creative makes you a happier person, but when we're swapping out creative projects and idleness for stimulation and mindless entertainment, we can sabotage that sense of meaning.
People who are chronically bored in life spend way more time consuming other people's social feeds and entertainment than investing in hobbies and habits that create real meaning for themselves.
6. They spend money to feel something
Feeding into consumerism and spending for happiness is a fallacy that social media and the internet have taught us to believe. When we're unhappy or stressed out, emotional spending can feel like a means of grasping control, when it's usually just amplifying the isolation, boredom, and stress we're already feeling.
We try to seek out newness and belonging by following trends or spending as a coping mechanism for emotional turmoil, but it only sabotages the financial comfort we need to invest in truly meaningful experiences and adventures.
7. Their routine is too rigid
While routines can be great for structure when we're struggling or dealing with stress, being too faithful to a routine that keeps us feeling stuck or isolated can remove the joy we get from novelty and uncertainty. Sometimes, changing up your routine or living a different lifestyle is the key to feeling excited by life again, rather than stuck in autopilot.
People who have incredibly rigid routines without room for leisure or play feel like their presence is defined only by their outcomes and productivity. They lost the meaning of life that comes from embracing their humanity.
8. They do things for others, not themselves
We all adopt different hobbies and habits. Playing video games in our free time might be exciting and fun for us, but for someone else, it's a boring nightmare. That's why crafting intentional routines that you're obsessed with is so important, even if they require change over time.
If we're only ever adopting hobbies that we see on social media or trying to build a life shaped by external validation, we're going to miss out on meaning and true fulfillment. People living boring lives aren't shaping their routines based on what feels good and excites them, but rather investing in things they believe other people might envy or appreciate.
9. They seek comfort constantly
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We're all, to some extent, wishing for and seeking comfort and stability. Whether it's in our routines, careers, or relationships, we appreciate the feeling of being "safe" as humans more than we realize. It's a biological instinct.
However, if this desire for comfort turns into avoidance or self-isolation, it may be amplifying the stress and boredom you're already feeling in your life. Comfort sometimes is good, but when it becomes the defining desire behind all of our choices, we can miss out on the meaning, joy, and fulfillment that come from the discomfort of change.
10. They overlook their deepest desires
On paper, many people live "boring" lives, but they're okay with it. They find unique ways to craft meaning and appreciate comfort, without dwelling in the resentment someone frustrated by their "boring life" might. A boring life might have even been their goal, and now that they've achieved it, they can bask in a stable routine, a healthy relationship, or a career that doesn't overwhelm them at every turn.
However, people who are painfully bored with their lives, who are regularly annoyed or unhappy by their routine, may be suppressing some of the dreams and desires they actually want. Whether it's pressured by a fear of change or low self-esteem, these people feel simultaneously guilty of their lack of change and too afraid to lean into it.
11. They blame others for their problems
When we blame-shift after mistakes and refuse to take accountability for the control we have in our own lives, we start crafting a victim mentality and cycle that provokes stagnancy. We remove our agency in life, and instead blame "life," the Universe, bad luck, or other people for things that we actually have the power to change.
Feeling unhappy and "stuck" in life stems from this belief that life is something different than what it actually is. When we come back to the reality of life, one that's neither fair nor certain, we give ourselves some power back over how we want to actually live it.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
