People Who Are Slowly Losing Their Tolerance For Small Talk Usually Say 8 Phrases To End It Quickly
Prostock-studio | ShutterstockThere is a certain art in how to end a conversation effectively, while still being kind. Few people can do it well, but when you're at the end of your rope and can't tolerate more small talk, it's a skill that can spare everyone a lot of drama.
The best way to do this is by using clear-but-polite phrases to excuse yourself. Small talk can be a great way to start connecting with someone, but if it never gets deeper, it can be a total waste of time. To help, you can practice phrases these people use to end the convo early without being rude.
People who are slowly losing their tolerance for small talk say phrases like these to end convos quickly, without being rude:
1. "It was great catching up, but I need to run"
The American Psychological Association found that people benefit more from meaningful conversations than small talk. However, small talk is what leads to those deeper conversations.
“Both deep and shallow conversations felt less awkward and led to greater feelings of connectedness and enjoyment than the participants had expected,” the authors write. The people that would prefer to not bother with small talk will say things that will offer a kindness ("great catching up") while saying they have to leave ("gotta run").
This phrase is good because it doesn’t place any blame on the other person, but makes it out as if there is someplace important you need to be. Add a warm smile, and you've got a pleasant (but blessedly short) small talk situation.
2. "We'll catch up later!"
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Telling someone you'll catch up later, especially if you actual do that, is a great way to beg out of droning small talk. It doesn’t leave the other person thinking that you secretly hate them, and gives you an opportunity to figure out if you were in a bad mood or if the other person was actually boring.
Sometimes the conversation is totally normal, but you're hungry or antsy to get home. In the moment, it can be hard to figure out which is which, so a safe way to end the small talk is to say, "I've got to run, but we'll catch up later". After a little while, you can send a text and simply say, "It was great seeing you!" so they don't feel dismissed.
3. “Sorry, I’m going to grab this call right now!”
This is a great way to end a conversation early. Let’s say you get stuck in a conversation with a coworker that you really just don’t feel like having. If the phone rings, that's an easy excuse. But you can also just look at your phone and say something like "Oh shoot, I've got to handle something right now." If you add something like "but it was great seeing you!" it reads as a very pleasant exchange.
The trends regarding small talk depend on generations. Boomers and Gen Xers were trained that small talk is normal and the way that life works. Millennials and Gen Z, on the other hand, don’t really see the need for small talk. Some people believe this because Gen Z has grown up with their phones and have not learned enough social skills.
Regardless of why, these generational differences can cause a chasm that is easily bridged by politeness and clearly ending a conversation that's not serving both.
4. "I’m actually walking the opposite direction”
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This one sounds mean out of context, but it’s really not. If you’re stuck in a conversation you don’t want to be in and you happen to be walking somewhere, you can easily just lie and say you are walking in the other direction. It doesn’t have to be rude at all. To make it extra nice, say something like "but it was so great talking to you!" as you walk away.
Small talk is also a cultural thing. “In some cultures, engaging in small talk is seen as a vital part of social interaction and relationship-building, while in others, it may be seen as trivial or unnecessary,” psychologist Kaytee Gillis, LCSW explains.
5. “Well, I’ll let you get back to it”
This is a great way to end small talk because it makes it seem like you are doing the other person a favor.
Saying “I’ll let you get back to it” makes the other person think they were in the middle of a task that they need to get back to. Gillis also explains that there is a difference between small talk expectations between men and women.
“In many cultures, and in many families, women are often socialized to engage in small talk more frequently, as it’s seen as our ‘job’ to foster connection with others and be social,” she explains.
6. "I have a hard stop right now”
Dr. Paulina Sliwa explains that some excuses are considered ok while others aren’t. The difference between these excuses is in the underlying motivations. If an excuse has a valid reason, then it’s permissible.
At work or during any sort of meeting, an excuse such as “I have a hard stop right now” can politely end the chit-chat so you can move on with your day. Athough may not be literally true, it may be the only way to get out of something that's not helpful.
7. “Good luck with everything!”
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This is a great excuse because it ends the conversation on a high note. It makes you seem like you genuinely care about the other person, not like you’re trying to run away from a conversation. And that's probably true!
People who don’t like small talk have learned that it is important to find something you can connect with the other person on and then build on that. "I'm so sorry to hear that times have been tough, but I have to run" or "Good luck with the move!" lets them know you were listening, but that the conversation is done.
8. “Nice seeing you!”
This one is in the same vein as “good luck with everything!” It leaves the conversation on a high note but it is definitely the end to a conversation. It may even open the door to later meet-ups as well.
It’s a good way to end the conversation on a high note without just ending it abruptly. It can be an invitation for more conversation, though, if you aren't strong in both voice and body language when saying it. Offer a smile and then step away or retrieve your keys from your bag or pocket to get the idea across that you'll be exiting.
Sophie Bagheri is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and theatre who covers lifestyle topics.
