If A Man Has These 11 Self-Indulgent Habits, He's Likely Not A Very Good Person
Dmytro Zinkevych / ShutterstockIt’s sad to think that not everyone you meet will have your best interest at heart. Sadly, there are men you may try to start a relationship with, only to find out they care strictly about themselves.
Self-indulgent men aren't very good people. While you may see potential in them, the truth is, they are the center of their own universe. They care less about what you want or need and focus only on themselves. Being self-centered makes them a bad partner. It can be difficult for a person like this to form genuine connections with women.
Certain habits can give away how he truly feels about you, even if he tries to hide it. It might be hard to spot this at first, but once you learn these self-indulgent habits to keep an eye out for, you may be able to prevent men like this from messing with your mental health.
If a man has these 11 self-indulgent habits, he's likely not a very good person
1. They always cancel plans
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When you make plans with someone, you expect them to follow through. If someone genuinely cares about you, they’ll do whatever they can to show up. Of course, things happen, and plans change. However, if the man in your life never comes when he says he will, it’s clear he cares more about himself than he does others. It can be frustrating and hard to maintain a healthy relationship with someone like this.
Likely, this type of man doesn’t care about pleasing anyone else. Either he’s changed his mind and didn’t want to do what you planned, or something better came up. Instead of putting effort into you, he wants to do whatever sounds best to him.
2. They’re glued to their phone
If a man like this shows up to plans, he might not give them his full attention. Instead of being present and engaging with you, he constantly looks at his phone. Whether he’s scrolling, texting, or talking on the phone in front of you, it’s a sign of disrespect. He might understand that what he’s doing hurts your feelings, but he doesn’t care. If it fills his needs, that’s all that matters. This is a sign that someone cares more about self-indulgence than about other people.
It’s painful to link up with someone and have them ignore you while they’re glued to their phone. It makes you feel like whatever they’re doing is more important than what you have to say. This type of guy is likely not a very good person and is probably a waste of your time.
3. They only talk about themselves
It’s natural to want to talk about ourselves sometimes. We often want to share what’s going on in our daily lives with the people we care about. Through the good or the bad, it feels good to talk to our partner about ourselves. However, when the conversation is completely one-sided, it’s a sign that someone cares more about themselves than whoever they’re talking to. While we enjoy hearing about other people's lives, it’s hard to get a word in about yourself or your opinion when they are controlling the conversation.
Someone who is obsessed with themselves is happy to control the conversation. They are hard to deal with when you’re going through your own things and want to talk about them. It’s a sign that they’ll never care about you as much as they care about themselves.
4. They brag
Going along with talking about themselves, a man like this may constantly brag about himself. Whether it’s his success at work or the impressive things he’s doing in his personal life, he’s comfortable talking endlessly about himself. While we want to celebrate other people’s wins, it’s hard to navigate a conversation when someone is only talking about themselves. When you can’t get a word in, it’s less about celebrating victories and more about bragging. It shows they care only about themselves.
Bragging can be good for us. It’s important to give ourselves credit. It can be something that boosts our self-esteem. However, constant bragging and failing to consider others is self-indulgent. One study found that humblebragging makes people dislike that person. If a man has this attitude, he’s likely not a very good person.
5. They make jokes at the expense of others
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Not all jokes are funny. Some people aren’t afraid to say what they think, even when their opinions are harmful to other people. They’ll play things off as a joke when in reality, there might have been meaning behind their words. They may laugh it off, but it’s painful for the person who is on the receiving end of the so-called joke. Instead of considering others' feelings, they don’t feel like they have to hold back.
For many people, there’s a little bit of truth in every joke. If someone is ‘joking’ at the expense of others, they may genuinely feel that way, which is hurtful. It’s a sign that they are self-indulgent, doing anything for a laugh or covering up their true feelings behind a laugh.
6. They expect people to clean up their messes
Both physically and metaphorically, self-indulgent people expect everyone to pick up after them. Whether it’s a literal mess they made or an emotional one, their problems become everyone else’s issue. They may expect a high level of emotional labor from others. Solving their own problems isn’t on their to-do list. If someone else can pick up the slack, then they’re happy to pass it off on them.
A guy like this may put pressure on the person he’s dating to pick up the pieces for him. Likely, he’ll do this without worrying about how she feels. It’s frustrating and puts too much weight on their partner’s shoulders, who now have to navigate their own problems and their partner's.
7. They only show up when they need something
We’ve all known someone who shows up only when it works for them. They’re not there when something is going on in your life, but they come running every time they face a minor inconvenience. A man who acts this way cares more about themselves than others. He expects all of the support in the world without returning any effort. When this happens, women can become burnt out and stressed out. They don’t have the love they need, and are providing too much for him.
Relationships are about give and take. Sometimes, men take more than they are willing to give. This shows they only care about themselves and prioritize what they get out of the relationship. It’s self-indulgent and frankly, rude.
8. They never offer to pay
Men have been expected to pay for things on dates. It’s always been the stereotype. While I think both partners should pay when they can, some men try to wiggle their way out of forking over cash whenever possible. They want to see how far they can go without taking responsibility. It can make the woman in their life feel responsible for everything.
If someone isn’t willing to help with the bill in any situation, it shows that they think their money is more important than someone else's. They want to pinch every penny while letting the woman in their life cover the costs. Couples argue over money a lot, and having a partner who won’t contribute can be a major problem.
9. They expect instant replies
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Texting can be difficult. Some people are always on their phones, ready to reply. On the other hand, some people struggle to reply at all. If a man is self-indulgent, they might spend a lot of time on their phone without feeling the urgency to get back to someone who texted them. Often, they’re also the same type of person who expects an immediate reply from everyone in their lives.
This behavior is frustrating. It shows how they only care about themselves. They may become reactive and rude when they don’t get an instant reply, but go days without responding to you, if they do at all.
10. They don’t process their emotions
Some men may be afraid of processing their emotions. They may have been taught at a young age that showing their soft side made them weak. Instead of expressing their emotions and working through them, they might push them down until they explode. To them, it’s easier than tackling them head-on. For the women in their lives, it makes them unsure of where they stand. Their behavior can come across as erratic.
Processing our emotions is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves and for the other people in our lives. A man who ignores his feelings can be a liability to the women in their life.
11. They are selfish
It’s not surprising that a self-indulgent man would have selfish tendencies. He’s caught up in doing things for himself and himself only. Instead of being a compassionate partner, he focuses exclusively on himself. He might struggle to show affection or empathy towards the women in his life. He expects it from them, but doesn't deliver himself.
Selfish people lack regard for others. A man like this won’t care much about her feelings. Instead, he’ll always put himself first, and assume she’ll do the same. It’s a frustrating and unbalanced dynamic that can ruin a relationship before it even starts.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
