At 50, I’ve Stopped Tolerating 3 Things Because I Just Don’t Have It In Me Anymore
Getty Images | UnsplashContrary to the stereotype, research has indicated midlife is no crisis. It is a time of appreciating a life of hard work and a challenge of managing obligations.
The idea of life following a U-shaped happiness curve has turned out to be inconsistent. Instead, being over 50 means you have gained the knowledge and experience to manage career peaks alongside the care of aging parents or other social obligations.
Studies have suggested that people over 50 often navigate these demands through inner strength and social support systems, while knowing what to stop tolerating so they preserve their energy and focus. They realize how a nuanced view of the different life stages is necessary rather than assuming a universal pattern of decline.
A 63-year study followed a group of people from ages 14 to 77 and found little connection between their personality in childhood and in old age. Most people significantly change over the decades, though some core traits like conscientiousness and emotional regulation can be consistent. As personality matures and shifts, changes in the sense of self differ, and people end up tolerating a lot less nonsense.
At 50, I’ve stopped tolerating these things because I just don’t have it in me anymore:
1. I’ve stopped tolerating poor excuses for transparent lies
By your 50s, you have a wider perspective on life in general. You've been there, done that, and have too many t-shirts to count. You're tired of a few of the annoying things people do by now, but if there's one behavior that really gets in your craw, it's poor excuses used as cover for transparent lies.
Especially when it comes from your spouse, family, or a friend who always manages to put you on the defensive, even though they are the problem. Your experience becomes the best lie detector because you have grown to learn who can be trusted and, more importantly, who absolutely can't be.
2. At 50, I’ve stopped tolerating false promises
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You've heard them make a thousand promises. They say they'll do something, but don't. They don't follow through with plans. They come to you for advice, but they don't take it. They make up thin lies to cover their bad choices or lazy behaviors. Worse, they act offended when you call them out on their baloney and make you the villain for daring to get upset.
3. I’ve stopped being patient with dishonesty
Older adults actually value blunt honesty, suggested a study. While younger adults often find polite lies more acceptable, older adults tend to view direct honesty as more moral, even if it seems too forward. Older adults value honest communication over deceptive, polite interactions.
By 50, you've lost patience with dishonest people. You're done with their lies. At this point, your eyes have rolled so many times that you just want to close them and take a nice nap when you see those people coming your way.
Dr. Gloria Brame, Ph.D., is a board-certified therapist who focuses on helping adults overcome both functional and emotional problems from a progressive perspective.
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
