Experts Say Kids Who Grew Up In The 1950s Built A Kind Of Emotional Toughness That Many Kids Today Don't Naturally Develop
H M Thompson | ShutterstockKids who grew up in the 1950s were the first to be fed the Disney diet: "Here is the world of imagination, hopes, and dreams." They thrived on the power of their imaginations while internalizing the American social contract.
Dream of a different world, but know your group, stick to their rules, and accept the results. These kids were — and are — the Baby Boomers. They were Boomers for being part of a rapid population increase, Boomers for growing up during a time of industrial expansion, and Boomers for living under the shadow of nuclear annihilation. It was a lot to absorb when all a kid really wanted to do was ride off into the sunset each evening after a long day of riding the range of the imagination.
It wasn't always easy, but those experiences shaped a resilience that many adults today say feels harder to come by in a more protected, closely managed world.
Experts say kids who grew up in the 1950s built a kind of emotional toughness that many kids today don't naturally develop:
1. Kids raised in the 50s used fantasy as a way to process real life
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Therapist Dr. Gloria Brame, Ph.D., points out that kids raised in the 50s were the children of WWII vets or the people who kept the country running at home. Even if they were born after the war ended in 1946, the lingering consciousness of the losses and sacrifices of their parents stuck hard. Their fathers may have been "the Silent Generation," but a lot of ex-military men brought trauma back with them, and as one study showed, their kids felt it.
Meanwhile, the Cold War sent a chill throughout the 1950s as to whether we'd survive the future. At the same time, it was a very optimistic period in the U.S., where we envisioned flying cars and miracle cures for all diseases. Kids were fed fantastic fantasies about a perfect future even as they huddled under their school desks to be safe during nuclear attacks.
That generation grabbed onto magical thinking eagerly. No wonder so many people who were born in the 1950s are malcontent. Childhood was really hard, and the "perfect future" never materialized. Yet, many grew up to realize the effects war has, even on the children of veterans.
2. Kids raised in the 50s were brought up with a no-nonsense kind of love
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Astrologer Aria Gmitter has learned that tough-love conditioning, or perhaps emotional invalidation, is a type of emotional toughness that kids who grew up in the 50s developed. Gmitter says, I was raised by a mom born in 1951. She would say things that today might be considered emotionally abusive due to the lack of emotional validation offered.
If I said I wished something were a certain way, she'd reply, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." If I lamented that life wasn't fair, she'd reply, "God helps those who help themselves." When I challenged her responses, she'd tell me to get thicker skin.
I had aunts and uncles, teachers and other adults around me, all born in the 1950s. Each time, I hear the same thing from all of them. Their body language would stiffen, they would get stern, and I would slowly but surely realize my problems were my responsibility. Not a single one of them was going to save me. I had to save myself.
They called this jagged pill tough love, and you washed it down with a bottle of "sadness-is-a-choice". Emotional toughness, for these kids, meant tough love, and for the kids they raised, it meant passing on the torch of self-regulation.
Tough love meant never being a victim, no matter what happened in the world. Invalidation of fear is the ultimate form of self-love because it forces personal accountability to survive. 1950s kids never said, "Who's going to fix this mess if no one else does?" They said, "I'm going to fix it so well that you'll never make this mess again, because if you try, you're going to have to go through me to do it."
They have been knocked down, gotten up, and learned from circumstances. Otherwise, they lose and are left in the dust. They were the "pull yourself up from your bootstraps" people. You stand up, brush yourself off, and without a tear streaking down your face, you try harder until your obstacles are defeated.
1950s kids believed the world's criticisms would be way worse than you could ever imagine, and it was up to the individual to succeed, even if it meant standing alone. An emotional cushion made you vulnerable. You'd miss out on what really mattered in life, like paying your bills, raising your kids, and being a good citizen.
Of course, they helped others, but only if they were set up to do so, leaving no room for emotions to keep them frozen by fear. No coddling is necessary because you would miss out on the learning process. Soft love made you complacent and lazy. True love was tough and rooted in absolute truth.
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
