You Can Tell When A Man's Life Is Collapsing By Noticing These 10 Details In His Home
Srdjan Randjelovic | ShutterstockEven though men are born with the same "emotional fluency" as their female counterparts, according to licensed clinical social worker Assael Romanelli, they're often discouraged from flexing their vulnerability muscles and expressing their emotions in the same ways. They're socialized into misguided masculine tropes and encouraged to suppress complex emotions, often in ways that make them angrier, more disconnected, and less emotionally secure.
That's why when a man is struggling, his home and living space are more likely to reflect his emotional turmoil than his words and expressions. He may struggle to verbalize his internal struggles or ask for help, but you can tell a man's life is collapsing by noticing these specific details in his home.
You can tell when a man's life is collapsing by noticing these 10 details in his home
1. There's a lack of personal identity
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If it's clear that a man's living space is for necessities only — eating, sleeping, working — there's a chance he's struggling to relax. He's living in a state of fight or flight that's not only sabotaging his ability to unwind and regulate his emotions, but also decorating his space and putting a personal flair in the place where he likely spends most of his time.
Our possessions and living spaces say a lot about us — how we're feeling, what's important to us, and what kind of values we lead with in our lives. If our homes are bare and lacking authenticity, chances are it's a sign of struggle.
2. The TV is always on
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Whether it's actively being watched or not, you can tell a man's life is stressful or collapsing if they leave their TV on all the time. According to a study from The Gerontologist, background noise from the TV is actually a common coping mechanism for dealing with loneliness and isolation, especially in older individuals, when they don't have healthy support systems or relationships.
When they're feeling alone, the sound and distraction of the TV in the background of their routines is comforting. However, it's not healing. You can't cure loneliness or become immune to the struggles of social isolation if you're only relying on your TV at home for comfort.
3. There's more clutter than normal
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Oftentimes, when people are struggling with mental health concerns like depression, their executive functioning skills suffer alongside their general well-being, at least according to a study from Psychiatry Research Communications. There's more clutter than normal because cleaning feels impossible.
Even hygiene rituals and basic tasks like opening their mail feel impossible, so of course their homes start to reflect their lack of healthy habits and cleaning routines.
4. There are broken things needing attention
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If it's clear that a man's life is collapsing and he's living in "survival mode" trying to get their responsibilities done, chances are his home is falling apart. There are broken appliances or half-finished projects littered around his space, all of which are lacking attention and intention.
Even if he had a boost of energy over the weekend or felt productive one morning and started a project, following through to complete it is clearly something he's struggling with.
5. The laundry is overflowing
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Doing basic chores like laundry or washing dishes can actually help to relieve stress, even though they're typically dreaded in everyday life, yet they're usually avoided by people struggling with emotional turmoil. That's why you can often tell a man's life is collapsing by noticing details like an overflowing laundry basket in his home.
If he's living in fight or flight mode, even the most basic tasks will feel impossible to address, prompting more clutter, messiness, and stress in his living space.
6. They lack basic necessities
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Whether it's toiletries in their bathroom or healthy food options in their fridge, if a man's home is lacking basic necessities, that's a clear sign that their life is falling apart and they're struggling. They don't have the time or energy to go to the store or to acknowledge spaces in their home that need attention, so they start to make due with what they have — even if it comes at the expense of personal health and well-being.
Many people living in fight or flight are ultra-focused on their comfort in the present moment. So, if they're trying to decompress from a terrible day at work, and there's a note to go to the grocery store on a to-do list, it's not top of mind.
7. There's a lack of organization
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If someone's living in a constant state of clutter and chaos, of course they're going to have less space to fix problems, regulate their emotions, and relax in their living spaces. As psychology professor Joseph Ferrari explains, visual clutter and messiness in our living spaces can cultivate a lot of stress, adding more strain to our workloads and more emotional chaos to our already struggling minds.
So, you can often tell when a man's life is collapsing if there's a lack of organization, prompting more clutter in his home. From clothes being stuffed into drawers and a million things littering their countertops, these seemingly harmless things hold more power than we realize.
8. There's a lack of natural light
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According to a study shared by UCLA Health, natural light has the power to improve our mood and general well-being, especially in our safe living spaces. If someone copes with stress by getting outside or relaxing in a well-lit room of their house, they're more likely to experience a boost in energy, focus, and mood.
However, if a man's house is chronically dark, without natural light or with curtains that are always closed off to the outside world, that could be a sign that his life is collapsing. He's trying to cultivate a sense of control and comfort by minimizing light or sensory stimulation, even if it comes at the expense of mental health and mood.
9. The trash bins are overflowing
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Like many other daily habits and cleaning rituals that go unnoticed when someone's dealing with all-encompassing emotional turmoil, taking the trash out is something that struggling men avoid. Whether it's the physical activity necessary to bring it outside or the lack of motivation to get up at all, you can tell a man's life is collapsing by noticing these small details in his home.
Even if they know there's a reward or sense of relief at the other end of the task, struggling with depression often leads to a lack of motivation. They can't seem to work up the energy or courage to do even the most basic tasks, even if they seem obvious and easy internally.
10. There's a sense of staleness
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Whether it's a stale smell from a lack of cleaning habits or a quietness that reminds you that there haven't been guests in a while, you can tell a man's life is collapsing by noticing these details in his home. His living space is for survival, not joy or connection.
It's clear that he's not benefiting from hosting or spending time with loved ones, and he's sacrificing cleaning routines for the sake of instant comfort. Of course, his living environment is a reflection of his internal state.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
