People With ‘Sticky Eyes’ Usually Have 3 Traits That Make Them Especially Attractive, According To Psychology
HBRH | Shutterstock"Sticky eyes" refers to a method of basically staring down someone you find attractive until you make them, well, uncomfortable enough to come talk to you.
"Sticky Eyes" was coined by content creator Chelsea Anderson, and it involves three basic steps to be performed when you spot someone you're interested in at a party, bar, or other social situation.
First, you stare at them until they notice, then immediately look away, as if you've been caught. Then you stare again until they catch you, but this time you hold the gaze until they look away, confirming you were, in fact, staring.
The third step is the most crucial: "You never look at them again," Anderson instructed in her video. And within moments, as if by magic, they will suddenly be in front of you, trying to chat you up.
Anderson theorized that this works so well because approaching a stranger in a bar or at a party is inherently risky and vulnerable. "By doing sticky eyes, you are basically providing a giant cushion for this person's ego," she said.
People with ‘sticky eyes’ usually have these traits that make them especially attractive:
1. It confirms interest
Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, a psychologist and marital and family therapist, said Anderson's take has a psychological basis. This is dead obvious, of course, but as Anderson said, it is a major "cushion" for the nervousness that approaching someone entails. It basically removes all the guesswork.
"Looking another person in the eye indicates that you are interested in them and might be ready to be approached and engaged in a conversation," Dr. Cohen said.
"It is a sign that you are prepared and available for an introduction." That means there's most likely little to no risk of getting shot down- or not immediately, anyway.
2. It signals mutual vulnerability
"Vulnerability is one of the foundations of strong interpersonal connections," Dr. Cohen explained. "Sustained eye contact often indicates that you are open, and when returned, indicates that the person on the other end has also let their guard down."
Again, we're removing the guesswork inherent to approaching people in social situations. By giving them the "sticky eyes," you've already taken the lead on vulnerability. You've basically given the other person nothing to lose and everything to gain. Why wouldn't they come over?
3. It enhances communication
"Eye contact enables a person to gauge a person’s emotional reactions better," Dr. Cohen explained; it's that whole guesswork removal thing again. But sustained eye contact not only signals interest; it also sets the scene for the next move and deepens it once it kicks off.
"Holding eye contact allows you to read facial expressions and overall body language, adding a new dimension to your connection," Dr. Cohen added. So the next time you're out trying to get picked up, give them the old stare down and you just might end up married in no time; if you don't creep them out too badly, of course.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
