Men Who Are In It For Keeps Usually Can't Help But Do 10 Things Around You
Andrii Nekrasov | ShutterstockAdmittedly, it can be hard to read people these days. Does it matter how long it took to return your text? Did they just give you attitude because they only sent one word, or are they just really busy?
Below are a few general things to pay attention to when a man is wooing you that may help you realize whether or not a man is truly emotionally invested and in it for the long haul with you.
Men who are in it for keeps usually can't help but do these things when it comes to you:
1. He takes the initiative in making plans with you
No matter how busy a man is, he will make time for you if he wants to see you: No excuses, lies, or broken promises. If a man is in it for keeps, he won't put off making plans.
He will take the initiative to make suggestions and set dates. See it as a red flag if he is always "too busy" for you, yet seems to have time to go out with his friends or is always posting photos from parties on social media that you're not at.
2. He will invite you on a proper date
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None of this, "Hey, I'm out with some friends, wanna meet up?" before he gets to know you, nonsense. If a man wants to get to know you, he will put in the time and effort to spend time one-on-one with you and see what you are all about. If he's always trying to fit you into his pre-existing plans and you feel like the text he sent could have gone to 10 other girls at the same time, he's just not that into you.
While a proper date doesn't guarantee emotional investment, it can be a positive indicator, especially when paired with other serious-about-you behaviors that indicate he's in it for keeps, research shows.
3. A man who's in it for keeps won't push physical stuff early on
There's a fine line here. I am not saying that he will refuse it on a first, second, or third date if he is really into you. However, he won't push it or get upset if it doesn't happen. Can anyone guess why?
It's because he truly enjoys spending time with you and is not looking to move forward strictly physically. He values you more than someone he is just trying to get with.
4. He remembers your interests and acts on them
Did you mention the smell of a candle that you like to him? Is there a book you enjoy reading or a show you enjoy watching? A man who is into you will hang on your words and pay attention to detail.
5. He drives a distance just to see you
It doesn't matter if you live 10 minutes or an hour away from each other — a man who is really into you will make the effort to come see you. Even if you are not far enough along for him to stay over at your place, or vice versa, he will come to you, take you out, and then drive back home thinking about you the whole way.
6. He doesn't check his phone on dates
Early on in a relationship, this is a great way to tell if a man is paying attention to you or not. If he is out with you, who else matters? Of course, if he is on-call or waiting for the phone to ring about an emergency, it's a different story. But, otherwise, his full attention should be on you, and vice versa.
7. A man who's in it for keeps texts you when he gets home from seeing you
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If you're not yet at the stage where you're spending nights together, after his journey home from dropping you off (or the next morning), you should expect a text about what a great time he had or how excited he is to see you again. However, if you feel like too much time is going by and you haven't heard from him, don't be afraid to shoot him a text to say the same thing. See how enthusiastically he responds.
8. He doesn't shy away from PDA
I certainly don't mean that he will be ripping your clothes off during dinner, but a man who is interested in you will have no problem with holding your hand, walking arm in arm, or putting his arm around you in public. He's proud to be with you and wants the world to know.
9. A man who's in it for keeps stops meeting other women
What would the point be if he found someone he was truly interested in? Emotional investment involves a deeper connection and willingness to prioritize a relationship with you as his one and only — i.e., he puts an actual label on it rather than the whole we're just talking schtick — over casual interactions.
10. He will tell you and show you
A man (or anyone) can talk a certain way and then act another way. Words are nice, but they are always drowned out by actions. Early on in a relationship, watch what someone does more than what they say. Words can be dishonest, but actions can't. What he does counts for so much more than what he says.
And mostly, be honest with yourself. A woman's intuition is a powerful force, and yet so many choose to ignore it. Don't let yourself get played because you refused to see the signs you knew you saw. You'll know deep in your gut if a man is in it for keeps — or just for fun.
James Michael Sama is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and personal development coach. He has become a go-to expert with outlets such as CNN, Bravo, The New York Post, The Huffington Post, The Daily Beast, CNBC, The Boston Globe, CBS, and more.
