7 Rare Traits Of Kids Who Grow Into Exceptionally Successful, Well-Adjusted Adults
Colin + Meg | UnsplashLet’s face it: Who goes into parenting not wanting to raise successful, happy kids? The problem is that parents often mistake the successful personality traits of happy kids with less favorable traits of defiance and rebellion.
Instead, based on their perception, they impose on their kids what a "good" personality trait is and what success "should" look like. These impositions are rooted in the way they were parented. It also stems from their unmet needs, likes, dislikes, and unfulfilled dreams. Kids are individual beings with their minds and souls.
Kids who grow into high-achieving, successful adults are comfortable with effort and failure. They're curious about the world around them, and when these traits compound, they shape grown-ups who are resilient and capable of thriving in both their personal and professional lives.
Here are 7 rare traits of kids who grow into exceptionally successful, well-adjusted adults:
Trait #1: Self-expressiveness
Getty Images / Unsplash+
Your child will feel the freedom and safety of being their true selves. According to psychologist Dr. Sheryl Ziegler, supportive parenting means validating your child's feelings and getting creative when what they want isn't possible, not shutting them down.
When kids feel safe enough to show up as themselves, they build the kind of confidence that doesn't crack under pressure. That freedom to be authentic is the foundation on which everything else gets built.
Trait #2: Bossy or opinionated
Getty Images / Unsplash+
The kid who holds their ground at the dinner table is the same kid who'll advocate for themselves in a job interview someday. Letting them have opinions now is literally practice for adulthood.
This reassures them that they are assertive and can think for themselves. When parents validate emotions rather than dismiss them, kids develop greater persistence and resilience when facing challenges, psychologist Lisa Kaplin explains.
Trait #3: Curiosity
Casey Murphy / Unsplash
When parents let children take the lead and explore on their own terms, those kids develop confidence and goal-setting abilities that follow them well into adulthood, something Dr. Ziegler notes about the habits that shape natural leaders.
"If you feel like a natural leader, your parents probably empowered you by teaching you a few valuable lessons," she explains. Curiosity helps them gauge what feels right and makes sense to them. In doing so, they build on their intuition and become seekers of truth.
A 2023 University of Michigan study found a clear positive link between higher curiosity in early childhood and greater academic achievement at kindergarten, with an even stronger benefit for kids from disadvantaged backgrounds. Curious kids are wired to learn more effectively. Curiosity can be nurtured, which means parents have real power to fan that flame.
Trait #4: Fearlessness
Getty Images / Unsplash+
They have the willingness to try new things and test boundaries. It helps kids know their limits while gaining experience.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten argues that flexibility matters more for a child's future than grades, talent, or even confidence. "When people have rigid worldviews and feel that there is only one path forward, they are at significant risk for anxiety and depression," she noted.
A 2023 study found that adaptability, the ability to regulate emotions and behavior in new situations, is one of the strongest soft-skill predictors of academic achievement, motivation, and overall life satisfaction in students. Kids who try new things and test limits are building the exact mental flexibility researchers say predicts long-term success.
Trait #5: Relentlessness
Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash+
They learn to test limits to find an answer, so they don’t quit easily when faced with obstacles. They know what they want and are driven to get it.
Children whose emotions are validated rather than dismissed show significantly higher persistence and resilience when facing challenges, according to Dr. Kaplin, who speaks in the context of raising kids who can handle real-world pressure. "Emotional validation literally teaches children their feelings are important and helps them develop better coping skills," she notes.
Research by Kyoto University found that children who develop the drive to keep seeking answers show better cognitive outcomes over time, and that parental responsiveness directly shapes that kind of persistence. The kid who won't stop until the puzzle is solved is developing one of the most valuable skills a person can have.
Trait #6: Creativity
Getty Images / Unsplash+
Creative and imaginative kids need room to experiment, and that's exactly what the research says produces the healthiest development. The child building a blanket fort today is learning how to build something real tomorrow.
Creatives and dreamers with big imaginations do amazing things in and for this world. The parenting style most associated with raising well-adjusted children, according to child psychologist Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford, is one that actively allows kids to make independent decisions rather than controlling every outcome.
Trait #7: Rule-breaking
Getty Images / Unsplash+
They refuse to be put in a box and love to find new (and often ingenious) ways of doing things. They have their minds and like to challenge the status quo — and themselves.
Each of these personality traits lends itself to authenticity, which, in today's society, is the most valued commodity. Whether or not you birthed your children or adopted them, they will have their way of approaching their world. Children also model the world around them.
As a parent, what you do and say and how you act and react to them shape their behavior, which follows them into adulthood. And while you are influential in this way when it comes to raising happy kids, their personality is just that — their personality. Their personality must be encouraged for them to be happy kids who grow into successful adults.
Have there ever been times when you were just being you, having fun, and feeling like a rock star, only to have someone shut you down? Can you remember dreaming big dreams and imagining an amazing life for yourself, only to be told to be realistic and get your head out of the clouds?
Is there a time when you responded to a situation in the same way as was modeled to you, and you got punished for it? Do you remember what you were thinking and how it made you feel? For starters, I bet you were incredibly confused. And then I bet it wasn't long before you began to realize who you needed to become to gain acceptance. More often than not, that meant leaving the real you behind.
What did that do to your ability to trust yourself? When you reflect on your childhood and have empathy for your lost self, you can step into the mind of your child. Doing so allows you to have empathy for your child who is trying to find their authentic place in the world.
All it takes to encourage your child is to understand yourself and what you need/want. You owe this to your child, and you owe it to yourself. Allowing your children the freedoms you may have had stolen from you will help you to raise happy and successful kids. The happiest kids and the most successful adults were encouraged to hone in on these personality traits.
Suzanne Jones, NLP, is a parenting coach and mentor who works with prospective adoptive couples with unresolved issues surrounding their childhood that will cloud their ability to parent.
