Women Raised To Know Their Value Say 11 Casually Assertive Phrases When Someone Disrespects Them
Luciano Spinelli | CanvaWomen who've experienced serious challenges in the past and overcome them all are some of the most powerful, confident people you'll meet. They were raised to know their worth, and learned them in active ways.
While it's great to hear your parents praise you and tell you that you're awesome, authentic self-esteem comes from solving your own problems and discovering your inner strength authentically. So, whether their parents allowed them to experience challenges or were part of the challenges these girls faced, the women who emerged uniquely know their value.
Women raised to know their value say these casually assertive phrases when someone disrespects them:
1. 'I know my worth'
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Women who have been through a lot in life don't mind embracing momentary discomfort or anxiety for personal growth. They know their value, and they know that authentic self-esteem comes from overcoming challenges and learning from them.
Because of that, they don't tolerate disrespect and sloppy, messy behavior from others. They know nobody is perfect, but they also know people can grow as humans and do better when they want to. So why would they stick around
2. 'I don't need help right now, but I'll let you know if that changes'
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It's not always the best trait, but a lot of the people who grew up with unmet needs or otherwise felt pressured into people-pleasing early in life learn to be hyper-independent later on. They're often perceived to be mature kids and praised for never needing help. In reality, they've been treated like little adults.
While independence can be healthy in adulthood and a strong feature of women who know their inherent value, it can also be too much at times if they don't keep an eye on going too far into it.
A study from Psychological Science argues that people who ask for help are more socially integrated and happy than people who refuse to. Of course, everyone wants to feel wanted and important, and sometimes, like a Stanford report says, asking them for help is exactly what they need to feel those things and cultivate a better bond with you.
A confident woman doesn't accept help when she doesn't need it just to keep the peace or appease others, but she's also strong enough to ask for it when she needs.
3. 'I just need some space, but we can talk later'
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Instead of engaging in unproductive conversations or entertaining arguments that hurt their well-being, women who know their value say "I just need some space" when things get tense and they might say something unkind.
Whether it's to clear their head or give themselves a chance to come to terms with their emotions taking space can be a healthy way to navigate conflict. Of course, there's a threshold between healthy coping with alone time and staying engaged.
That's why it's so key to say "we can talk later" when things get tense rather than just dipping out, at least when talking to people you value. Otherwise you run the risk of suppressing emotions and locking other people out.
4. 'Thank you'
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Gratitude can change the entire direction of your life if you embrace it. Women who know their value appreciate the little things in life and seek out better connections so they can build a life they're proud of and grateful for.
Even though overcoming adversity and navigating unresolved trauma can be difficult and uncomfortable, making an effort toward daily gratitude can boost life satisfa tion and general well-being, according to experts from Harvard Health.
The key to gratitude? Saying thank you more than what you might consider normal. You say it on a beautiful day (even if it's just inside your mind) and you say it to friends after grabbing coffee. You say it to your partner a lot, over little things.
When you know your value, you know that saying "thank you" doesn't make you look weak, it makes you seem happier and it makes people want to be around you.
5. 'I don't have the energy for this'
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Women who inherently know their worth are intentional with the kinds of people and relationships they invest their energy in. They have the framework and skills to navigate life independently, so every person and interaction is an intentional choice.
While it's true that people with childhood trauma or a history of toxic relationships can also struggle with commitment, many women who have faced a lot of adversity have been forced to learn and look inward, recognizing how their actions and mentality influences their reality.
6. 'I'll figure it out'
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This is one of the phrases women who know their value say to themselves on a regular basis as a way to remind themselves how strong they are. They've been through challenges in life and they've found solutions and ways to thrive, and they know they'll be able to do it again.
While this resilient mentality manifests in different ways depending on the person, it gives them the confidence to say things like "I'll handle this" or "I'll figure it out," whether it's in their personal life or in the workplace.
If you're close with one of these people, you're lucky, because she'll probably remind you that you can solve even the most challenging problems, too.
7. 'I'd rather be alone'
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There are a number of benefits to healthy solitude and alone time, especially for people who have been through a lot in their lives already, from boosting brain cognition, to enhancing creativity, and even reducing stress when it's utilized in a healthy way. Those are just a few of the reasons why women who have faced adversity would rather be alone than invest in relationships and social interactions that only drain them.
It's also a positive symptom of their confidence and self-assuredness. They know their value and aren't going to compromise their values. They'd prefer to invest in alone time, personal growth, and intentional self-care than sacrifice their mental health and well-being for others.
8. 'I don't have to prove myself to you'
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This is one of the most important phrases in the toolkit of women who know their value. They may say this to others or even just to themselves when someone is trying their patience or doubting their abilities.
Even if they've spent their lives people-pleasing and protecting the peace in social situations, many have dealt with struggles and adversity that forced them to put themselves first. They know what they deserve, and they have zero interest in proving anything to anyone who doesn't deserve it.
They'd prefer to be alone than in an unhealthy relationship. They're not going to sabotage their well-being without standing up for themselves. They may not even indulge social interactions or conversations that subtly undermine them.
9. 'I'm struggling to trust you'
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Instead of slinking away from people who push their buttons, they say directly to them that they're struggling to trust them. It helps them to sort out whether those trust issues come from inside of themselves or are justified by the other person's behavior.
According to mental health coach Darius Cikanavicius, many people who have been through a lot in life struggle with trust in adulthood. Their commitment issues or relationship struggles often start with the lack of trust, one that feels like a coping mechanism against vulnerability and getting hurt.
They were taught that nobody is coming to save them, and while that may have sparked a sense of internal confidence, independence, and resilience in them, it also riddled their relationships with mistrust and disconnection. Without trust, relationships crumble and connections erode, even when one or both of the partners are independent and self-assured.
But women who know their value will pause before cutting someone out of their lives and only do it when it's justified.
10. 'I've been through worse and survived it all'
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Women who know their inherent worth are able to place challenges in appropriate context. Most of the time, whatever they're facing feels surmountable due to what they've survived in the past.
Even when something truly awful happens, like a serious illness or a devastating loss, they know their strength comes from within. They know how to survive and solve problems, and those traits help them get through even the worst of times.
They know they're capable of doing hard and uncomfortable things, because they've done it before, and it's this resilience that opens up opportunities for them to thrive later in life.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
