Most Parents Focus On Grades, But This Quality Is What Really Shapes Who Your Kid Becomes
Temo Berishvili | PexelsRaising a tiny human is exhausting, thrilling, and, most importantly, scary. I do not have much practice in the art of raising a good member of society since my daughter is only two. But I feel our society puts so much focus on all the milestones we are told our children have to hit on time to be successful.
While I think the milestones are a great way to gauge general child development, focusing to intensivley on success is not always the best for a parent. Research has explored the impact of intensive parenting on both parent and child, to show there are gains, but also significant losses in this approach. We forget the most important thing about raising these tater tots: making sure they are kind.
Most parents focus on grades, but the quality of kindness is what really shapes who your kid becomes
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Some parents measure success by how well their child does in school or how popular they are
Some parents even view success as their level of sportsmanship. At the end of the day, though, they forget to make sure their child is kind, caring, and compassionate.
Society often views adults who are kind and compassionate as “fragile” or easy targets. To combat that, parents attempt to raise their kids to have a rough exterior to prevent them from getting hurt.
While I understand wanting to protect your child from the world and making sure they are not getting walked all over by strangers, having a kind and compassionate child is the kind of success that makes the world a better place.
These kids make sure no one is sitting alone at lunch. They make sure everyone around them feels cared for and loved. Their goal in life is to see everyone smile. All of these make them the best kind of person to be around.
A study on compassionate leadership development explained, "The confusion between emotional empathy and compassion leads people to consider compassion as harmful, even unprofessional, and responsible for burnout. Evidence suggests, however, that cognitive empathy is protective against burnout and promotes well-being."
Kind kids improve the world one smile at a time
They allow others to have their voices heard and do their best to make sure everyone else succeeds as well. While it’s not a child’s job to make sure everyone is included, having a compassionate kid can help make a difference in the lives of others.
These kids do it in many ways.
- Sitting next to the lonely odd child at lunch and making that child’s whole week because someone finally acknowledged their existence.
- Bringing extra food for lunch to make sure their classmates could eat during lunchtime.
- Creating a safe space for other children to talk about the troubles going on in their lives or homes.
Standing up for a kid who is being bullied. All of these can save lives, and all of these help battle depression. Research has shown the positive effects of peer support against depressive symptoms for young people.
With kind children, it comes naturally. The ideas and thoughts of what to do next come to them like remembering to breathe. They don’t give it a second thought because they just know it’s the right thing to do. This is what makes kind, caring, and compassionate children successful. They bring light to others that no one else can. Their addition to society has an everlasting effect.
While I hope my child is happy, I also hope she is kind
I hope she helps to make a difference in other kids’ lives. I hope she feels like what she is doing is important. Compassion goes a long way, and I hope she knows that.
Shyanne Kollefrath is a writer whose work has appeared in Unwritten, Huffington Post, and more. Her writing focuses primarily on relationships, health and wellness, and parenting topics.
