Father Of 3 Finally Understands The 'Mental Load' After Having To Parent Alone For 8 Days While His Wife Was Away
Prostock-studio | ShutterstockMany dads, not all, lack a concrete grasp on what the mental load of parenting and running a household actually entails, and how it feels. It doesn't quite click with them until they're the ones that have to carry it.
That seemed to be the case for one father of three who was tasked with taking care of the kids and the house after his wife went out of town for a handful of days. In a TikTok video, content creator and dad Cedric Thompson Jr. admitted that he now understands what his wife and all other women have to go through when it comes to handling childcare and household responsibilities.
Dad finally understands the 'mental load' after having to parent alone for 8 days while his wife was away.
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"I've been a single dad for eight days because my wife is in the Philippines and I had no idea it was this tough," Thompson admitted in his video. "I was prepared for the cleaning, lodging back and forth, the unexpected sickness, the feeding, [and] the sleeping."
Thompson explained that the one thing he hadn't been prepared for was the mental load of it all. He had zero idea that it would be so draining. Thinking about things that need to get done that haven't yet, or about things he needs to plan to do, is all very exhausting, and he confessed that he doesn't even have the energy to really take care of himself.
"And now I that I understand this, I have so much empathy for my wife," Thompson added. "And I truly understand what she means by this mental load and how draining it is."
The 'mental load' of parenthood can drive moms to the very brink of burnout.
A survey conducted by USA Today and streaming service Peacock found that women are more likely than men to say the pressure of doing it all and meeting expectations is a challenge. They are also more likely to say they don’t turn to anyone for advice or help.
Around 64% of women said they manage the day-to-day responsibilities of parenting, compared with 43% of men, and 44% of moms also reported feeling pressured to "do it all," compared with 37% of men. A full 34% of women said they feel overwhelmed every single day; another 32% feel that way several times a week.
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While moms have long felt the pressure of the mental load, more dads are also starting to feel it, too. Men were more likely than women to say balancing work and family responsibilities is a challenge, according to the survey. While men are feeling more of that stress, most feel confident enough to delegate tasks to their partners to ease the burden.
But women wrestle with letting go of some caretaking tasks because they believe they will be judged or blamed if it isn't perfect. Four in 10 women surveyed said they felt pressure to be the "perfect" parent.
The dad explained that parenting alone 'opened his eyes' to just how much his wife takes on.
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"It's making me ask myself, 'What more can I be doing? What has been going on that I haven't been seeing?'" Thompson continued. "It's been right in front of me. How can I step up, the way that my wife needs me to, instead of doing things that I think are helping?"
While moms everywhere are shaking their heads and celebrating simultaneously, Thompson's revelation sends an important message about what being a true partner and an equal parent means. Providing money isn't enough.
Thompson acknowledged that while he can't take away the mental load completely, he can definitely make it lighter so that both he and his wife don't feel exhausted to the point where it's hard to pour energy into each other and themselves.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
